This week has been hard. Sit in a corner and stare at the wall hard. It has been a slow accumulation of small things that have suddenly added up. Do you feel like that sometimes?
It starts when a chore is left undone.
Then, the cat swallows some ribbon and throws it up.
Next, the dog wakes us all up barking in the middle of the night.
My alarm goes off and I can’t find anything to wear.
When I pick my daughter up, she cries because she would rather stay with her sitter.
I come home to fix dinner, but nothing is on the meal plan. It’s all downhill from here.
I’ve gotten to the point where I feel too overwhelmed. Any small task feels like trying to move a boulder.
I’ve let the devil win. He has told me I’m not enough, and I believed him. He has told me that I’m not a good mother, a good wife, or good at much of anything at all. I’ve listened to him too much this week, and I have believed his lies.
There will never be a time that I feel good enough, because I won’t be.
I will always fall short of the perfect standard I hold myself to.
The only person big enough, and capable enough, to meet that standard is the very One I’ve neglected this whole week. The very One who could have taken my yoke and made it light is the One who I have turned to and said, “it’s ok, I’ve got this. I don’t need your help.”
Why do we do that? Why do we choose the heavier load?
The Lord is using us now in the midst of our imperfections.
Don’t we see that time and again in the Bible?
King David committed adultery, and later kills the woman’s husband so that the affair doesn’t go public after the woman gets pregnant.
Yet God still brought Jesus up through David’s family line.
Moses argued with God when he was told to go speak to Pharaoh on behalf of God’s people.
He tried every excuse that he could think of – but I’m not good at speaking in front of people, Lord. Wouldn’t you rather send my brother?
So, God chose him to be the one to aid in performing mind-blowing miracles.
And there are many more stories just like these.
God is a big God, and He is bigger than the enemy’s lies.
We have to trust that He is working in us, even when we feel like we don’t give Him much to work with.
Even when we feel like we’re not enough.
I need to let God be big. And let him take over the things in my life that feel like too much.
Let Him be big in your life too.