Encouraging Mamas · Lessons Learned

Being Pregnant a Second Time.

I am 21 weeks pregnant with my second child, and I couldn’t be more excited! Our daughter turns 11 months old soon, and as my belly becomes more pronounced the questions and comments are overflowing.

“Wow, that’s so close!”

“Were you trying for a second?”

“You’re crazy.”

“You don’t even look pregnant.” {always a favorite}

“You’re kidding!”

“Wow…”

In some ways, I expected my second pregnancy to be very different from my first. I figured that I would probably carry both babies the same, gain about the same amount of weight, {hopefully} have the same amount of morning sickness, etc. I went into this second pregnancy with much more realistic expectations. I know what delivery feels like. I know what a baby kick feels like, and when I actually should go to the ER {not for heartburn, come to find out}. I know how to breastfeed, how to change a diaper, and how to swaddle a baby…somewhat.  I did not, however, expect the number of disappointing reactions from people in response to my being pregnant “so soon.”

At first, the responses seemed more out of sympathy than excitement. As I walked up, smiling to announce that I was pregnant, the looks on people’s faces immediately shifted from a smile to raised eyebrows and a hesitant grin. It was like they were saying, “I’m sorry you got pregnant so quickly.” Confused and disappointed, I would walk away.

For some, the excitement was genuine. Typically this reaction has been seen from those who decided to have children close in age themselves. They would exclaim, “My kids are only 18 months apart!” or, “That’ll be so nice – they will grow up being friends!”

Regardless, the comments don’t matter. People can assume that because we conceived when our daughter was five months old that it was an “accident.” I believe every child is a gift from God {Psalm 127:3,5}, no matter what. They are never mistakes. Whether you were actively trying, or weren’t. Whether you knew you were pregnant before you delivered, or didn’t. Whether you think you’ll be a good parent, or won’t.

I read an article recently that put it this way:

“{Babies} can’t be {a mistake}. He’s no more a mistake than a college degree, a promotion at work, or your spouse saying “I do.” These are blessings. Blessings, not mistakes – and therefore, let’s call them that. Blessings, after all, are not so cookie-cutter.” {Parenting Means Wrestling Demons by Jonathan Parnell}

Whether we “tried” or not, God gave us a baby! And that means he thought we would suitable parents to him/her, and that they would be the perfect addition to our family. Yes, we might be crazy, but that’s a post for another day. And as for my not looking pregnant, I disagree!

IMG_3530
{this is an old picture, too!}

If you think this is “how you look when you’re bloated,” you should probably visit the nearest doctor. I am proud of this belly, and the 1 pound baby inside of it!

I’m learning a lot this pregnancy, and one of the biggest lessons I’m learning is to not let people’s words affect me. If I could communicate one message to pregnant women everywhere, this would be it!

People are notorious for saying the wrong thing! I let myself get so upset during my first pregnancy at all the comments I received over my weight. Doctors harassed me because of where I naturally fall on the BMI chart. Random people in the grocery store would say that I looked so small, and would probably have a small baby. People I knew would ask me if I was eating enough. After I delivered my perfectly healthy baby girl, a nutritionist visited me to ask if I had ever struggled with eating disorders in the past {insert corny joke about “the only eating disorder I have is eating dis order of fries!”}.

It was unbelievable. I cried…pretty often. My mom encouraged me that her pregnancies were the same way, and that everything was normal. I wish I had taken that to heart instead of letting myself get so upset.

If I let myself get hurt by every comment made by people who hardly know me, what kind of life would I be living?

I’m determined that this pregnancy will be different! I will not let words bring me down like they did before. I will stand up for myself when I feel like I’m being bulldozed, but I won’t feel the need to get defensive about it. Stand strong, mamas! Stand strong, anyone who has ever felt this way {even if you’re not pregnant}!

If I learn this much from every pregnancy, all I have to do is get pregnant 20 more times before all my problems are resolved!

Be right back, I think my husband just passed out…

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Being Pregnant a Second Time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s